Where to Find Love in Your Astrology Chart
No single aspect in the chart explains all the complexities of who and how we love. Not only do all aspects (connections) to Venus or Mars need to be considered, but also their sign and house placements. For a deeper understanding of relationships and how they play out in a person's life, we also need to look at the condition of any planets in the 7th, 8th, and 5th houses AND the rulers of those houses.

When considering the total relationship picture, you'd also look for planets aspecting the Ascendant/Descendant axis—that is, to the degrees on the cusps of the 1st and 7th houses. Since these house cusps are precisely opposite one another, any planet that aspects the Ascendant also aspects the Descendant. The quality of relationships with people you care about can be strongly affected by planets that form aspects to this axis. The Descendant and 7th house planets are similar in concern to Venus, since their primary function is in forming committed relationships. Thus, having Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto in the 7th house or forming an aspect to the Ascendant-Descendant axis would be similar to an aspect between Venus and that outer planet. If the planet is Uranus, for instance, read the chapter on Venus-Uranus aspects to understand what that connection contributes to the person's relationship patterns.

Conjunctions to the Ascendant or Descendant are the most powerful modifiers—they're like doormen that people have to check in with for admittance into the person's inner life. Trines to that axis show social assets that attract people, as do sextiles. Squares and semi-squares are like security checkpoints along the way, because they can show how people run into conflict with their environment.

Few of us have only a single aspect to Venus or Mars, and celebrity heart-throbs generally have several, which is part of the reason they engage our hearts and fascinate us over any length of time. Given that each individual is extremely complex—as complex as the totality of a natal chart—then what happens when two people relate is complicated indeed. So, no, looking at a single Venus or Mars aspect doesn't begin to cover all the dimensions of our relationships.

In my astrological practice over the past 40 years, I've seen thousands of people with each major Venus and Mars aspect, but let's use Venus square Neptune as an example. The details may vary considerably, but the over-all dynamics tend to be the same, as are the results. Maybe the bohemian earth mother in New York's Soho district with Venus in Cancer square Neptune in Libra tries to nurture the sensitive artist. He smokes pot daily and can't seem to paint any more but won't marry her because he's married to his art.

Perhaps the gal in the trailer park with Venus in Sagittarius square Neptune in Virgo loves a biker who does speed. He's always on the road with his motorcycle gang and only visits her in the middle of the night when the rest of the gang has passed out and he wants a little loving. Then, for contrast, there's the socialite with Venus in Capricorn square Neptune in Libra whose 40-year-old lover works 70 hours a week and drinks himself insensible to unwind. He's out of town on a business trip and forgets her birthday, and he won't commit until he makes his first million. Then he finally makes the million, but devastates Ms. Venus-Neptune square when he ups and marries a 23-year-old trophy wife instead.

As you can see, the details are very, very different. The sign and house of Venus have everything do with who plucks at our heartstrings—why the one with Venus in Capricorn goes for up-and-coming executives, while the one with Venus in Sag can't resist biker after biker. Yet, how different is the bottom line? All three of these individuals with Venus-Neptune squares wind up repeatedly getting involved with men who can't commit, who have an addiction or two, and who aren't there in vital ways that leave the woman feeling drained, used, and unloved. As crucial as the details admittedly are to the individual, the pattern is what is instructive. The patterns I've discerned over the years give me an idea of what may be going on with the next Venus-Neptune man or woman who calls in anguish about that elusive current lover.
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